Meet Emily, Resilience Story #7, Mother, psychologist, author and inspired, curator of healing stories

At the age of 39, Emily was flooded with memories of being sexually abused by her father - someone whom she “adored and admired.”

“At age 39, I was a divorced mother of a toddler, working as a therapist for sexually abused children, and completing my dissertation,” Emily says….And at this same age, this is when her darkest memories came flooding in.

In this interview, psychologist, Emily Samuelson (Ph.D.) and I talk about the book she curated with stories of healing from those who experienced childhood sexual abuse across the United States, and also weaved between her chapters topics from her own story of healing, Soaring above the ashes: Thriving beyond sexual abuse, and the ways she has used resilience too.

Listen to Emily’s interview on Voices of Resilience Radio via RSS.com

Resilience for Emily means finding the courage to walk through the darkness—even when it seems endless and overwhelming—and emerging into the light.

“[Resilience is] bouncing back from Life's wounds as a stronger, wiser, and more compassionate person,” says Emily.

Even though the actual memories of childhood sexual abuse did not emerge until she was 39, Emily had distinct thoughts and beliefs that helped her throughout her life. She says how as a teenager she kept the last two lines of the poem Invictus on her bulletin board:

‘I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul.’

Throughout her life, she drew on several forms of resilience including community, education, religion and spirituality, creativity, music, pivotal moments, metaphors, nature, and sensuality.

When it comes to education, for instance, Emily completed her dissertation in psychology. She also read prolifically.

“I read like a crazy woman,” she says. “I read every memoir by a survivor that I could find.” Writing my book was also incredibly healing, especially meeting thriving men and women survivors around the US.”

There was a reason for this reading. It was a powerful form of not feeling alone.

“When I read something or hear something that captures my own experience, it’s a relief…I feel like I’m seen,” she says. “That somebody else gets it…”

Interviewing people’s stories almost enveloped her own experience and it seems like became powerful, visceral forms of connections with other people. As she listened and captured other people’s stories of healing, she captured her own experience in parallel. It was like the ultimate #metoo movement.

Emily engaged in several activities to help herself on her healing journey including psychotherapy, dance/movement therapy, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), a support group for survivor/therapists, journaling, rolfing, energy massage, hypnotherapy, reiki, herbal treatments, acupuncture, reflexology, tapping (tapping on acupressure points), medication, sweat lodges, Internal Family Systems Therapy, working with a shaman, self-defense training, and Interactive Guided Imagery.

In this podcast, she shares her own words of wisdom, including finding others on their own healing journey; resting when you need to, then keep walking; being compassionate toward the little child you were; staying connected to the people you love; finding active or creative ways to express your feelings; trusting that it is possible to heal.

“It’s always an adventure to talk with people about what happened and see where we connect,” Emily says.

In this interview with Emily, I got the sense from talking with her that when we reach out to others with similar experiences, that it can help us connect on a deeper level and find that we are not alone. It also reminds me of a quote that I read last year, “A problem shared is a problem half solved.”

I also went away from our interview feeling that I connected with someone whom I could look up to and admire.

If you’d like to purchase Emily’s book, Soaring above the ashes: Thriving beyond childhood sexual abuse click here.